"Transfered Fear" - True Story

In my last post, I talked about "Transfered fear" and my recent experience.

"Transfered fear in this context will be described as the level of anxiety, feeling of inadequacy (cold feet or reservation) you have from taking a step, an action, engaging in a task, a project or an assignment as a result of views, perceptions and opinions of others. Their views, perceptions and opinions are formed based on their care, concerns, myths and past experiences which is then passed to others in the circle of influence. It is in reality an unintentional limitation passed on.

For instance, some parents never allow their children to swim because they have heard stories of children who died due to that or they just have phobia for water and this is transfered to their children by restricting them from every attempt and opportunities. Some parents never allow their teenagers to drive early or travel to distant land for the same reason. Sometimes, the fear could be transfered from spouse, friends or from a revered personality characteristically out of legitimate care and concern.

My Quick Story:

Here is my story. . .

I always have need to make regular outstation trips which in a way has been structured to depend on an acquaintance (chaffeur) who helps out with such for a token. It somehow had become an unwritten rule. Many times I had desired and longed for an opportunity for the adventure of driving myself accross the highway but somehow, it never sailed through the "first reading" (Lol😎). 

Despite my resume of almost 40km daily commuting work to home for almost 10 years and gaining accolades on smart driving by friends and acquintances! I just could not convince some folks at the "domestic senate level" that I could sail through the highway gently and safely. There was a season that the agitation was intense and then after a while, the steam sublimed into a secret vision.

Then on this fateful occassion, the faithful 'chaffeur' disappointed in a most unpredictable way for a most crucial trip that is just 74km! And then we were faced with missing the all important event or daring to face the highway and then the so-much desired opportunity came suddenly to drive my crew on the journey! Rather than the excitement that should have filled the air, I practically had plapitations, an unusual discomfort and low confidence, I was not really sure I could do this afterall, I was uptight, unsure, fidgetty and gradually after a few attempt got a grip on myself till we got to our destination in less than an hour! 

The Moral of the Story: 

●We oftentimes need circumstances and opportunities that will push us to reveal our innermost competencies.

●The alternative option to fear is almost always brighter.

●  What you fear most usually never happens

●Desiring something so badly doesn't necessarily equate to having it easy.

As if that was not enough, a repeat of same occassion played out in quick succession.

Watch out for the rest of the story in the next post. . .

#TransferedFear

#EnterYourFear

#FearFear

The Fuss of the First. . .

The gush of emotions that flush at any and every first events cannot be quantified. From first day at a new place of work; first day of starting a business, a project or a venture; first day after graduating or completion of "NYSC" 😎; even first day of being married too. . .

The mixed feelings of fear of known and unknown, of uncertainty of all you have heard and thought of, countless events that happened to some, could happen but usually never happens! !

Experiencing something significantly positive for the first time puts such experience and event as success, memorable and 'celebrateful'. The emotions of achievement lands as a retrospective assessment after all has been said and done and the greatest fear never materialised. In life, everyone runs their race, stays on their lane, and savours their progress and success.

There is no award for who went forward first, who had an experience first or who did what first and so no competition in the concept of progress in life, success story or how far forward. Every man is celebrated when their own season comes. Every man's forward is his progress and it is a unique walk.

The route to progress in reality is in infinitum - endless, the real deal therefore is to:-

Daily catch a breath;

Think forward;

Scratch head when you need to;

Act forward;

Face your front;

Take a step;

A deep breath;

And then another step;

And then a breath

And then another. . .

A step at a time keeps the heart pumping and keeps the body in motion.

There are ceilings to be broken, glasses to be shattered, barriers to be overcome, so go ahead and just do the do.

Watch out for the next post on this page, I will share a personal story on my discovery of "Transfered fear", what it is and how to overcome.

Face The Day. . .

In this part of the world, Sundays remind you of preparation for the week and clearly suggests to many the need to be productive. I remember as a child, that weekend ends immedately after church service on Sundays as every activity thereafter is geared towards making the new week productive and a smooth sail. From laundry sorting to activity planning, much of which was reading scheduling and books sorting. Now as a grown lady, the little girl systems ingrained by my parent remained the modus operandi for ease of life. The activities are still similar in context at higher levels, laundry and domestic sorting and planning are sure lifelines while planning and scheduling of activity is the way to go.

Sundays sometimes can be tough to part with  as that heralds the day called MONDAY. It can be a dread when the internal systems and external systems are not at peace and the week's activities seem like a drudgery. When waking up and starting the day seems a burden and you need truckload reasons to face the day. 

The tough truth is that "Monday phobia" is a disease that shows itself in general malaise, low energy and sometimes helplessness at the thought of a new week. The disease has the potential to kill energy, drive, hopes, dreams, can kill the present and the future. The disease is all over the place, old and young, rich and poor living with it, it is a disease to overcome. 

The Japanese ikigai (生き甲斐 pronounced Ick-ee-guy) comes to mind as an antidote. It is a concept that means a reason for being. A reason to wake up and jump out of bed, a reason to do and a reason to be. It is a force that pushes to make a fuss on life. 

Achieving that as an outcome is not so fast though, it comes from a jouney with self from the past, into the present and towards the future. 

Self awareness, discovery and self exploration.

I dare say be "ikigaid" for this new week. Be aware, discover and explore. Have a really productive and fun week.

Pic. Credit: Ikigai (Google)